Monday, November 22, 2010

Math Homework for Thanksgiving Break...

OK, ok, everyone please take your seats, Indycar math is in session.  We've taken a bit of a break so there's a fair bit of ground to cover...

Indycar 2012 >= sliced bread.
Indycar 2012 > NASCAR 2012 (cubed)
Indycar 2012 Chassis solution > NASCAR CoT + 5 years.
Chevy (Ilmor) + Lotus (Cosworth) + Honda (HPD) > Doom + Gloomers.
Randy Bernard > Pessimism.
Pessimism <= colo-rectal screenings.
Month of May planning + anticipation + enthusiasm
 >= Christmas morning - 5:40am wake-up.

Month of May anticipation > pharmaceutical-grade stimulants.
4 x Miller High Life Light 30-pks x $14.99 + 3-day cooler (x 2) + 40 lbs ice @ .25 per > 1 x keg Miller High Life x $79 + deposits + 80 lbs ice @ .60 (where ambient temperature is assumed constant 84 deg average x 5 days).
Indycar Tweeters + fun > barrel full of monkeys.
Pressdog > ESPN NASCAR commentary.
"So's Your Face" > "Jeff Gordon's a querrr".

Aerial bombs at 5am + 3 hrs. sleep (max) - properly hydrated system - full sobriety - personal hygiene = best day of the rest of your life...

Please memorize these formulae.  There will likely be a test at the end of 2nd semester...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


So it's a Wednesday in the middle of November and I'm forced to reneg on a promise I made to myself LESS THAN A MONTH AGO, that was supposed to last until March 2011. 

Steph (@99forever) over at More Front Wing (a very well-organized and well-done Indycar blog) illuminated and challenged we Indycar slobs to not succumb to the all too frequent curse of obsessive fandom: off-season withdrawal.  Too often we feed the monkey with little hits of junk here and there to get us by until the new season starts, but they often come from low-grade rumor and unnewsworthy news required by our 24/7/365 desire for infotainment which serve no greater good. Unfortunately, my promise has been thrown from the wagon by recent developments urging me to take a hit off the Indycar off-season pipe once again (OK, enough addiction references): 

1. Biggest Blood-Pressure-Raising, Swear-Inducing, Palm-to-Forehead Slappin', Anger-Management-Forgettin' Major Pisser-Offer:  The shuttering of the Silent Pagoda.
Seriously?  SE-RI-OUS-LY?  "This is soooo necessary and the world of Indycar will certainly meet a pre-Mayan-Calendarian doom if we don't DO SOMETHING AND NOW...  Let's shut down a fan-favorite blog because the waste there is rampant", said the overzealous counter-of-beans.  The Anglophile in me would say, "FOOKin' 'ELL MAN!"  For those that don't know the Silent Pagoda, you can trust the opinion of this established Indycar devotee when I say this was the most-enjoyable damned blog related to Indycar... period. Pure entertainment and blissful irreverence for a sport that is frought with overseriousness, just for the sake of having a laugh (and showing by our very nature a higher intelligence than most autosport fans). Granted some of the seriousness is justified given the precarious nature of our beloved sport... SOME, not all, so humorous satire is a welcome distraction for this Indycar fan's workaday world. It's Indycar news like this that makes me want to break shit. (okay, deep cleansing breath)

2. Best News of the Month so far: Chevrolet announces an Indycar engine program to compete with Honda. Yes, yes forward momentum and all. Great news for sure. Looking forward, though, I predict even better news. My bet is that Ford, possibly Fiat (new owners of Chrysler) via Alfa Romeo (it's soon to be re-introduced brand to the US of A), and maybe one other manufacturer will be in the fold by 2013. Thank you Chevy for remembering that you once had cojones.

3. Worst Racing News of the Month so far: Tony Kanaan is out of a ride. I understand the mechanisms behind it all and am mostly disappointed for my 7-year old son who has been a TK fan for as long as he can remember. Literally. I purchased a new TK 7-11 replica crew shirt for him at the Kentucky race as a reward for having such a great start to his 1st-grade schoolyear. "Hey, guess what, my son, that shirt which is one size too big so it will fit you next summer, is outdated". Thanks for nothing 7-11. "I don't like 7-11 anymore dad, and Slurpees are off my list!" (his words, not mine). 'nuff said.

In light of my current mood, I am now preparing to not 'give it a rest' this off-season and the house-cleaning begins with this blog. I plan to examine revamping and energizing this blog, so stay tuned...

As always, this season of thankfulness emplores me to express gratitude for those who make my life more interesting - many of you know who you are and for the others, I will attempt to show gratitude as I can. Thanks to you for stopping by. Feel free to leave me a comment or input, and hope to see you at a great Indycar event next season...

DZ (, @groundedeffects