Alternate End-of-Race Options

Green. White. Checkered.

Three words which, among a vast majority of Indycar fandom, produce stomach convulsions so violent, you'd think RC and SunDrop just issued an ipecac flavor.

The thought of the Indycar higher-ups even considering this type of conjured, made-for-dopes, end to a top level racing series event is horrific enough, but as so often is the case, I wondered what it would be like to reverse my thought process and embrace this newfangled thinking. Maybe I too could come up with some alternate types of Indycar finishes of worth. Surely the racing gods are aware the earthbound, mortal NASCAR fans cannot fathom or appreciate the fates of a race-ending yellow. What effect would an Indianapolis 507.5 International Sweepstakes have on our sometimes-combined/sometimes not/demi-official Indycar records book? 

I came up with no less than three crazy ideas only a Granatelli could love...

Yellow. Red. Green. Checkered. (aka Qindao Fire Drill)

With 2 laps to go of all Indycar races, we throw the yellow as soon as the leader hits the Start/Finish line. Under control of the pace car before the first turn, we bring the field around the course and into their respective pit boxes, where the red flag is displayed. All cars stop, drivers unbuckle, exit the car, run around the car, get back into the car as quickly as possible. As soon as a driver is re-buckled, the crew re-fires the car and out of the pits to a green flag lap for the end of the race. Any incident on the said green lap which may cause a yellow flag to be thrown again, will result in the same process until we get a full green flag final lap. The winner is showered in victory lane with confetti thrown by the famous Rip Taylor. Only with such reverence are lasting traditions born.

Firestone Spin to Win

All races run to fit a scheduled TV window less 20 minutes when all cars return to their pits and the Firestone tire flip stage from Texas 2011 is highlighted on victory lane. Firehawk rapid-fire launches t-shirts into the crowd. IZOD Cameron approaches the stage and randomly selects from a group of wheel guns which are numbered and assigned to a correspondingly numbered wheel. She moves to the Firestone wheel wall and uses the guns on its matching wheel/lug nut. The TV audience, no doubt breath bated, watches as Cameron uses the gun and slowly removes the wheel which reveals a lap number on the wheel hub. The leader of the revealed lap number is your race winner. Made for TV! Wait'll Marty and Scott hear about this! They'll positively be slightly elevated above placid with excitement.
Pros - Firestone amortizes the cost of that wacky tire wall and more Cameron!
Cons - I don't really care to examine this side of the argument because.. CAMERON! 

The Brady Bunch

Leave it to Mike Brady to come up with such an equitable and efficient solution. He was an architect after all. Race is run in typical manner until the penultimate lap when a competition yellow is thrown and all cars not on the lead lap must pit, television coverage ceases immediately. Abridged from the season 5, episode 20 storyline of The Brady Bunch, the remaining cars follow the pace car from pit out. Orange cones with an egg on top for each of the remaining cars are set up across the start/finish line. To complete the final lap, the cars all come to a cone and stop as closely as possible without touching the cone or breaking the egg. Closest  measured nose to their orange cone is the winner. THE Orange Cone of Twitter fame will have exclusive rights to the tweet the finish to the world and Florence Henderson will serenade the victor with Queen's 'We are the Champions'.

Ridiculous? Perhaps. I contend they are ALL better than a green-white-checkered.

Leave your mark on the future of Indycar by commenting and vote now for your favorite! Suggest a great idea of your own! I promise to take all of these options directly to Indycar headquarters and deliver them directly to the hand of one Randall Bernard myself, for he is THAT accessible*.

(*While incredibly open and engaging with fans, he is not THAT accessible).

Indycar's Drama - Untapped Veins of Gold?

As you, my much-appreciated (and very select) readers may have noticed, this blog has taken a mid-summer's fortnight siesta and actually it appears a little break from the E85 ethanol fueled contrivances was just what the Dr. Jerry Punch ordered. I feel ready to open my eyes and enjoy the Indycar universe again... 

(but his demeanor and unwillingness to look his readers in the eye betrayed his statements of goodwill as a lie...)   DUHN-DUHN-DUUUUHHHHNNNNNNNN...

Hmmmmmm...

Was just reading a post from.. our good friend.. Mister.. Bill.. ZAAAHHHRRENNNN (aka the mighty pressdog), who has ongoing advice for the majority of kerfuffled blog and forum voices that cannot seem to ever find a common-sense middle-ground on matters relating to Indycar (Iowans are perhaps the most effective of midwesterners like that - common-sensical, middle-grounded). Even I, who purport to be 'Grounded' (hence the naming of this blog) admittedly get my raceday knickers twisted now and again (not in a good way). I even shake my head at myself when in a heated Indycar moment I can almost see the disappointed stare and hear the paternal words of Uncle pressdog chiding me from the ZOMGoodness reactions that I muster from time to time.

Then it hit me.

Perhaps the desire to reduce the drama associated with Indycar is the exact opposite thing we need. Perhaps to INCREASE the viability of said dramas, a'la Soap Operas, is a way to increase the total populous of eyeballs, thereby increasing numbers across the board (I can hear your shrieks and groans, but hear me out). Danica was a perhaps but an unintended experiment into capturing the fans of drama which, by most accepted accounts, garnered many thousands of new fans. Properly nurtured (aka exploited), these everyday dramas can be used for the expansion of the sport (the owners and drivers must be in on the act as well for this to work). I daresay the almighty NASCAR is already a fer-piece up the road from Indycar on this one, but not out of sight.

Racing as a 'true sport' in my view is for the most part, deceased. Much as the 'race for space' galvanized country, government, and tax revenue into the ever-escalating and literal heights for supremacy, there comes a point at which the economic Law of Diminishing Returns (I've spoke of before) will begin to fight back at the pure progress gained by the input of money (capital). Only by inputting exponentially more and more money will noticeable levels of progress be made while fewer and fewer participants will exist. CART much? 

Professional Wrestling, as another good-blogger-friend, Mark Wilkinson noted in his blog New Track Record, has long lost any semblance of its Olympic sport origins and become the testosterone-fueled, pyrotechnic offspring of gymnastics and the afternoon soap opera. Racing as a form of entertainment, he contends, rather than pure sport is what appears to currently flourish. I find it very hard to argue against his point.


Perhaps I should reframe my stance by borrowing a definition of 'soap opera'.Take this excerpt recapitulating the form of modern soap opera from the website of The Museum of Broadcast Communications: 

The "soap" in soap opera alluded to the sponsorship by 

manufacturers of household cleaning products; 

while "opera" suggested an ironic incongruity between the 

domestic narrative concerns of the daytime serial and

the most elevated of dramatic forms.

It isn't difficult to see the similarities between this description of soap operas and the existing Indycar or NASCAR as a form of soap racing entertainment. Both are some ways removed from the most elevated or purest of racing forms (for good reason I'd argue - cost in both life and resources). The drama? We've had quite a bit of it already just in these past 2 seasons haven't we?

Are we missing a larger audience for Indycar events by trying to extinguish the drama du jour or can Indycar gain previously unwatching eyeballs by showcasing the very interesting things going on over here and, oh by the way, they do this amazing stuff at over 200mph? 

Is Indycar the place where racing is the backstory is equally if not more important than the on-track outcome? 

I can't answer those questions, but I will pose them.

NASCAR supporters already shows a willingness to consider trading the science of racing for the art of entertainment when one of its larger event promoters is willing to publicly suggest scripted yellow flag periods. While largely scoffed at, I'm not so sure it isn't a bad idea for the NASCAR bunch. It's not much different than timeouts or periods or playclocks or shotclocks in most other popular American diversions when you look at it. It's all manufactured drama. It also implies that the original elements of the sport are inherently not good enough for the viewing public or they wouldn't have changed them, but I digress..

Ultimately, this thing, auto-racing, must become either science or art. Both avenues are expensive in their own right, but for Indycar to try this 'double-major' in such divergent fields will be impossible and the time to decide is yesterday.

2012 Milwaukee Indyfest and a Joule of an Idea

With the Milwaukee Indycar race being the final leg of our 12-day family summer vacation, you'll forgive me for not posting since just before the Indy 500 race weekend.So much has already transpired and been written by others since my last post for me to fathom another recap so I'll simply jump to the here and now.


In short, my first trip to the Milwaukee Mile was great. Not only did it cap a terrific extended family vacation, but I left quite satisfied at the ease we had in doing most everything in and about the track. Luck perhaps, but I feel more than comfortable considering the trip again for 2013. Also, I found the Milwaukee Indyfest plan and execution quite good for the venue and would encourage them to adopt the same 'event-based' approach in the future. With kids, we took advantage of the midway and family fun zone which added much value for us in addition to the racing event itself. Full marks for Andretti and his team for producing an enjoyable event around the race.  


I have noted in the past on this blog that outside of the Indy 500, Indycar must create an 'event' at each stop to draw more than just adults interested solely in Indycar racing or  relatively uninterested persons there because a corporation doles out the free tickets and swag. Andretti Sports Marketing did a terrific job on an abbreviated timeframe in my opinion.


And now, for what may be the best little gem I found during the Indyfest... The Joule. 


I am the first to admit that any sort of engineer I am not, but also in previous posts here and here, I contend the series needs to consider developing its platform around propulsion system competition. In light of the recent victory by a 'hybrid' engine at the 24 hours of LeMans, efficient propulsion systems will only continue to become a larger factor in passenger car decision-making. If Indycar can become a showcase for a variety of propulsion systems and hybrids of those with an emphasis on efficient power, it can entrench itself in the automotive racing landscape of the future.


With that in mind, I was struck by a non-descript booth in the Fan Village of the Milwaukee Indyfest. Hosted by the Milwaukee School of Engineering, this group displayed an open-wheeled vehicle used in a recent competition utilizing battery electric and internal combustion motors to propel their vehicle on (what I recall in a brief conversation as, but don't quote me) 20 megajoules of energy equivalent over a 22km street course. First team to cross the finish line with the given amount of energy available, wins. 


Apparently the Joule is the measure for multiple forms of energy (combustibles, electric, etc.) I've been longing to discover as a means of having an equivalent measure of energy to apply to multiple forms of racing propulsion. The megajoules used in the above contest was described to me as the equivalent of energy that would be provided (if used entirely as gasoline) by approximately one-eighth gallon of standard 87-octane automobile fuel in an internal combustion system to go 13 miles (roughly 104 mpg) or taken as all-electric power would equate to approximately 5.5 kilowatt hours. The MSOE car utilized both battery electric motors and a small internal combustion motor to propel their vehicle.


I was fascinated by the possibilities this type of racing could present and really believe it is the wave of the future which should be embraced as quickly as possible. Does it need to be the primary racing form for Indycar now? Not initially, but could be addressed as an experimental class that races concurrently at several of Indycar's variety of venues, with the future possibilities to be explored from there. 


Ultimately, I see the continued challenge to develop the most efficient of multiple forms of propulsion as what will become the prime focus for manufacturers and producers of mobility vehicles. Where brute speed was once king, things eventually changed and the future almost certainly holds the continued refinement of efficient power. The DeltaWing begins to scratch the surface from the physical load side of the equation. The propulsion system is the other.


I would love nothing more than for Indycar to become that major player in developing or becoming the series that allows these companies to showcase the newest in propulsion technology. 


I also hope I (or at least my kids) will be around to see it.