Crystal Ballin'

Howdy folks! Your old pal DZ here again writing on the very cusp of another Indycar season. Nothing like waiting 6 months during the off-season and then rushing together a post while the cars practice in the sun at St. Pete, Eff-Ell-Ayy. 

Actually, my lack of posting should not be mistaken for ignoring Indycar. I simply have nothing new to say really.  Nothing anybody wants to hear anyway. I've posted a great deal of my opinion and thoughts on Indycar and the improvement thereof, much of which hasn't changed one iota in the last 3 years. To say the same thing in a different way is superfluous. 

If you are reading this and thinking to yourself, "Wait, what ideas? I'm curious, yes, what are your ideas?". Firstly, bless you and thank you! Secondly, it's all found at various points in the 80-odd posts found over the course of the last 42 months of my blog.
(Use these helpful blog tags over there on the left side of the blog to help find those ideas)

Today, after completing my NCAA bracket just 30 hours ago and inspired by the freshness of a new Indycar season... I feel the energies for sooth-saying flowing grandly through my being, so without further ado...

DZ's Wildly Accurate

(and Possibly More Than A Slight Bit Alarming)

2013 Indycar Prophesies

- From the "BAM! Stone cold, Lead Pipe Cinch" Dept.: I can't get out of my head that James Jakes will win a race this year, JakesyNation will froth and weep openly. Jakes and I look a slight bit alike I'm told, so maybe when he wins, someone will confuse me for an Indycar driver and allow me to saunter around the garages at will.

- Motors being rendered "non-functional" (a new James Hinchcliffe engineering translation) will continue to be an issue for teams all season and will play a part in the Championship points finale at Fontana. What I'm saying is that someone in contention for the title will 'get screwed' because of it.
- From the "On this day in 2014" Dept.: One year from now: the season opening in St. Pete will feature only 20 full-season cars on the grid. I won't divulge how the drop by 5 cars occurs, suffice to say that a majority of those leaving will be USCR-related departures.

- Tony Kanaan will win the Indy 500 BECAUSE, for the first time in 7 years, I'm NOT predicting TK to win and saying the Helio gets his 4th. Make sense?

- Simona will finish 8th in points. I want her to win a race and finish in the top 5 points, but that's my heart talking, not my 3rd eye. Still quite a heartening improvement over 2011, 2012.

- No one will win the Triple Crown. In fact we'll have 3 different winners for each of the races. *sad trombone*.  Davey Downer I know, but don't shoot the messenger for what the universe told me... I will continue to drink Fuzzy's unabated however.

- From the "You can lead a horse to ovals, but you can't get any damn fans there" Dept.: Pocono will be the best race of the season that 14,000 paid fans will see live. Head-shakingly low attendance at non-Indy ovals will cause much consternation among all 'stakeholders'. No matter, I will be there and will have seen the race and this historic track in all it's glory with my own eyes. You will also read my first-person account of the weekend at IndycarUK! 

- The Indy 500 will be completely rained out for the first time since 1997 and run on Monday.

- No CEO of Indycar will be named for all of 2013. More consternation and concern over no growth and lack of direct leadership will further unsteady the tenuous relationships with  team sponsors. 2 full-time cars will be gone for 2014 directly because of it.

- From the "I will hate to say I told you so" Dept.: Near the end of 2013, Miles will announce a much-ballyhooed revised rules package for 2014. Slight increases in allowable horsepower and slightly reduced downforce will be the primary focus. Big whoop. NO AEROKITS for 2014 and NO new engine manus. Same as it ever was, same as it ever was...

With good racing and no one outside of the 375,000 worldwide fans watching, Indycar will spend much of the late 2013 season and off-season wondering why. AGAIN. Another season rolls by, another opportunity to shake up the Indycar world wasted, with little direction out of the fog. 

That foghorn you're hearing Indycar? That's the sound from your diminishing fan base trying desperately to lead you to safety one last time. Whether your questionable navigation agrees or not, it is (and ever has been) your only option. You're drifting farther away with each passing year.

Back in 2011, I outlined a way I believe Indycar can put in place a product that can help move out of the fog and to reach a much wider audience. With each passing year that prospect only gets more expensive and will include fewer and fewer teams. That plan also is nothing new and in some form has been REQUESTED by fans since 1998. That's 15 years ago. FIF-TEEN. Agonizing.

Nobody should realistically expect that incredible racing stretch from 1966-1975 to ever happen again, but it seems the basic environment for which that situation occurred can be formed again in a modern setting to provide a diverse and exciting product which will engage new generations of fans and sponsors, and lead Indycar out of the fog.

Until the 1-chassis, uber-regulated, lameness of spec-era dies, Indycar cannot live.

Simple as that.

Indycar, My iPod, and Moz (a noir narrative)

On the shiny precipice of a new Indycar season and, in following the News of the Indycar world through February 15, I find myself again wondering, 

"What in the actual hell is going on?"

OK, ok... o....  (deep, cleansing breath).....  k... 

Been here before, I can manage it, just need to take a moment, go for a walk.
Escape into some music, to chill... 

     (grabs iPod, dons headphones) 

Let's hit Shuffle and see what comes up... 

     (surprised, knowing the amount of 80's 
      metal/punk/wave is on the 'pod..) 

OH! OK, perfect. Some nice, Jamaican-influenced pop? Johnny Nash it is...

     (presses play)

I can see clearly now, 

the rain is gone.

I can see all obstacles in my way.

Dammit. It's not working.. 

     (I begin rewriting lyrics in my head)

NOT gone are the dark clouds which had me blind.

It's a depressingly dark, dark Indycar day.

I can see clearly, that my affinity for parody lyrics and Indycar during Seasonal Affective Disorder isn't going to be helpful..

     (hits Shuffle...The Smiths - How Soon Is Now?)

Oh, sweet! Early-80s, right in my wheelhouse.. 
I love this song and the 80s recalls a much shinier day in Indycar... 

     (play)

YESSSSS, thank you Johnny Marr for the great reverb/modulated guitar intro...

"I am the son, and the heir, 

of a shyness that is criminally vulgar.

I am the son, and the heir, 

of nothing in particular.."

You shut your mouth, how can you say

I go about things the wrong way,

I am human and I need to be loved

just like everybody else does."

Hmpf. Comically apropo and all too representative of much of Indycar. 
Also not at all helping me get out of this funk, but let's ride it out to the end of the song...

"When you say it's gonna happen now, 

when exactly do you mean?

See, I've already waited too long

and all my hope is gone..."

Sonovabitch.

     (shakes head, perturbed, hits Shuffle again)
     (ironically, the algorithm pulls another Smiths tune..)

"I was happy in a haze of a drunken hour

but heaven knows I miserable now.."

     (looks skyward, hands out in a 'WTF was that?' pose)

"In my life, 

why do I give valuable time,

to people who don't care if I 

live or I die?"

Clearly, the universe is trying to tell me something.. to help me perhaps...



Almighty hell. Who am I to argue?

     (stops walking, stops iPod, 
      removes headphones, turns around)



I feel like going home and blogging some Indycar predictions for 2014...



Right after I listen to Rage Against the Machine... on 11.

"So whadda we do now? ...We wait"

The Superbowl not 24 hours old, Indycar fans who populate the Twitterverse almost immediately set about lamenting the amount of time we still have to wait for the 2013 Indycar season to start. 

This reminds me a bit of people (mostly younger, some old enough to know better) who choke down Thanksgiving dinner, speed through valued family time, and wait outside stores to be granted prime 'Black Friday' access. I prefer to sit back, wait until mid-December to go cut a fresh tree and decorate it before I go out and begin shopping. Just seems a more natural progression, allowing my enthusiasm to not be stretched to the limit.

So, while I can appreciate the eagerness to begin Indycar anew for 2013, I'm just not quite about to lament yet. I say, "Relaaaax people, there's too much that must come first."

Perhaps it is because I'm getting older (sometimes a week seems like three days) and my patience grows with every year, but I prefer that my spring builds up annually, traditionally, and quite steadily around the following events:

1. The NCAA basketball tournament (mid-March to early-April),
2. The Masters 'gawf toonamint' (to use the 'Hootie Johnson' accent, mid-April),
3. The Kentucky Derby (early May), 
4. The Indianapolis 500 (mid-late May).

It is clear for most sports fans to see that there is MUCH beloved and long-standing tradition in those sporting events and I wouldn't have it any other way. To fall in-line and march steadily through spring with those grand events is quite comforting (as our good friend George over at Oilpressure.com could most certainly attest). 

So, with apologies to all the über-obsessive Indycar acolytes, my personal clock will only allow the Indycar season to begin in earnest with the 500. Everything else prior, I consider a bonus. With this approach I find myself able to put the near-manic desire for open-wheel engine roars aside until May, leaving myself pleasantly surprised when the Sebring test pops up or the haulers load into St. Pete.

Meanwhile, y'all sit tight until late-March. As I noted back in October, I think the off-season is a GREAT time to bone-up on your Indycar history and maybe never so easy as to play some trivia to pass the time. 

Follow me on Twitter @groundedeffects and you'll see my (usually-) regular Indycar Trivia question (follow hashtag #DZsIndycarTrivia) which comes out approximately at Noon EST weekdays with the answer to follow approximately 1pm. No money, no prizes, just some Indycar fun over the lunch-hour and possibly some Twitterverse glory should you get an answer right! 

Ol' Jeff Spicoli had it right while he was 'learnin' about Cuba, havin' some food..', and certainly there's nothing wrong with a little feast on our time. So instead of Cuban history, learn some Indycar history in the process.